Six Toxic Traits we Practice
As moms, we are all guilty of practicing toxic traits at times. These toxic traits imply, “I am not good enough”. I like to remind myself and my clients to be kinder to ourselves! We are humans and learning as we go. There is not a handbook on how to be a “perfect” mom. We owe it to ourselves to make a conscious effort to unlearn toxic traits. Now you might ask yourselves, "what toxic traits is she talking about?" Here a few that come to mind!
Mom guilt – The guilt and shame that come along with mom guilt can be very overpowering. Have compassion for yourself and remind yourself of all you do for your child/children. Remind yourself, of your capability of being there to provide for your child’s needs. It is ok to forgive yourself for not being “perfect”, no one is!
Telling yourself, "you aren’t good enough" – Practice letting go of false societal expectations of what it means to be a mother and how it should appear.
Not having time for yourself - It is important to make time for yourself on a regular basis. Do things that you enjoy aside from being a mom. This may be when that mom guilt may come along. Do not allow it to! You owe it to yourself to do things you enjoy and practice self-care.
Not asking for help – There is no shame in reaching out and asking for help. Utilize your network of support. This may be within your circle of friends, family, or within the community. You can always find a support group of other moms going through the same situations and emotions as you are!
Not setting boundaries – Boundaries are healthy in any relationship, and can help when it comes to others having their opinions on how you should be raising your child. Setting healthy clear boundaries from the beginning can benefit your mental health.
Worrying about what others think about you - Try practicing self-compassion and self-forgiveness when you do not handle every situation as ideally or perfectly as you wished or as society pressures us to think we should. We are all doing the best we can, and that might mean making some mistakes along the way. IT’S OK! All we can do is forgive ourselves and remind ourselves of everything we do right when something goes wrong!